Aegean Coast 2024: Part Four - Greece

Bodrum - Kos, 9th June 2024

I receive an extraordinary WhatsApp this morning from the pokey hotel in Çanakkale which I only rated as 6/10 on booking dot com (inexplicably, most others gave it 10/10). The essence of their long rant is they don’t care about my rating because they’re full every night (not when I was there) and that, because of me, British passport holders will no longer receive a 10% discount. Sorry guys.

Talking of nationality, there was a problem with my passport this morning in Kos. I have a Northern Cyprus stamp dating from 2015, at which time I had no idea that the UK would do anything so stupid as Brexit (the EU cannot deny admission to its citizens). So they stamp a piece of paper instead meaning that officially I’m not in Greece and I can only go back to Türkiye. I might point out that I entered Greece in 2016, 2019 (twice), 2020, 2021, 2023 (twice) and Lesbos a few weeks ago, so why this was only remarked upon (or noticed) now is beyond me. I’m due another passport soon anyway, so I can also get rid of that bloody awful Russian visa.

6:30 am start, blink and you missed the ferry crossing, hour waiting in the sun at passport control before issue mentioned above. I’ve never been to Kos before and first impressions are it’s lovely. I’m four hours early for check-in but the receptionist lady is very accommodating (she thought I was Greek based on my 'kali mera!'), storing Sean for me, and in an hour my room’s ready. It’s a really nice apartment with a good sized balcony, a nice communal pool and all the facilities you need. The taps badly need descaling, some of the plugs are hanging off the wall and the wi-fi’s weedy, but it’s so much nicer than Bodrum.

The town itself is very laid back with relatively little traffic, pleasant views, ancient ruins in its centre and a good choice of bars and restaurants. Yes, it’s touristy as hell, perhaps even more so than Bodrum, but a lot nicer. People are pleasant. I’m under no illusions, I know there are all-you-can-drink foam parties going on tonight, but they’re only 20 euros! I might book myself a pirate boat as well. For now, cold beer and a balcony are doing me just fine.

Kos, 10th-11th June 2024

Stumbling back to my accommodation in the early hours, two rotund Azeri women of uncertain age on each arm, the thump, thump, thump of Bar Street ringing in my ears, covered in what I hope is foam, was the dream that awoke me yesterday. Actually, I watched the Canadian Grand Prix outside a bar, which would have been better had the commentary been playing rather than ‘It’s Raining Men’ on a loop.

I do my chores: find a laundry (yay!), find a phone shop to change my Turkish SIM (yay!) and find out where the next ferry departs from (boo!). Kos is rammed with tourists and every bar, restaurant and shop seems full night and day, which means you don’t get hassled, or served quickly. It’s difficult to walk because of the crowds, there are annoying cycling lanes and I’ve never seen so many bleeding pirate boats. But I like Kos.

I knew nothing about the island except that Alcibiades came here once, and I’m genuinely astonished at the scale and richness of the archaeology. Walking through Old Town, which is a small alley full of gift shops, I accidentally stumble upon the snappily named Western Archaeological Site. It’s absolutely huge and you’re free to climb over Roman and Hellenistic ruins at your pleasure as almost nothing is tapered off and there’s no one to supervise. So, if you fancy sinking your stilettos into fragments of 2nd century AD mosaics then go wild, because nothing is protecting them.

The Roman Odeum is similarly impressive and unsupervised, as is the Ancient Agora which covers half the town, popping up here and there between modern buildings, it’s glistening marble columns set in gardens of magnificent magenta, purple, crimson, orange and white bougainvillea amidst giant firs and a plane tree where that old quack Hippocrates once taught, and with the exception of the Casa Romana, a reconstructed villa worth every cent of its six-euro entrance fee, it’s all free. Take note, Türkiye.

There’s a shrine to Asklepios also, but it’s 4km uphill out of town and I miss the last Noddy Train going there. In any case, it’s 36c and I’ve left Harry the Hat at the hotel and there’s a reason why my Turkish-branded suntan lotion is a quarter the price of Nivea.

The bougainvillea are everywhere, as are the chattering swallows that sunbathe on ledges and dive-bomb the swimming pools. People are friendly, you can find beer at three euros per half litre, they have Armenian and Chinese restaurants, the apartment is nice apart from the lack of internet. I might come back here one day.

Kos - Rhodes, 12th June 2024

Even the Greeks are beginning to complain about the heat. Back in Lesbos a few weeks ago I saw the temperature was going to peak in the high twenties in the Southern Aegean and I thought ‘nice.’ Trouble is it’s 10c hotter than that, they’re closing the schools early, the Acropolis is closed in the afternoon and it’s becoming impossible for Greeks to do any meaningful work, so they use migrants instead. Walking slowly, finding shade where none seems to exist, and rehydration become an art form, which I’m able to perfect as, like with other stages of this trip, I have an age to wait before I can move on.

Two hours at the quay watching migrants painting scaffolding in the sun and thousands of people deposited in a convoy of coaches, queuing in the open for yellow shuttle boats that take them to the cruise ship Costa Fortuna which by the look of it did.

Then two Dodecanese Express ferries arrive at once and there’s a four minute frantic changeover of passengers and luggage before they belt away. There’s not even time to check tickets before we’re seaborne. We race past Knidos - within 100m of its lighthouse - there’s a quick stop at an island called Symi which has no trees and has been in the news recently because of Michael Mosley, and in less than 2.5 hours we’ve reached Rhodes. Boy, these boats can move. Standing on deck is not an option but the scenery from inside the air-conditioned cabin is great - it’s a nice trip.

We went to Rhodes in 2020 during one of Boris Johnson’s ill-advised poll-boosting unlock-downs, because it was one of the few places you could fly to directly. But that was Lindos, a nice but touristy town past the notorious Faliraki.

First impressions of Rhodes Town are wow! What a huge castle - it’s like being back in the Middle Ages. It takes me 30 minutes to negotiate Sean through cobble city into the modern town and the hotel’s a little disappointing. The old guy at reception doesn’t have my booking because he doesn’t know what day it is (nor do I), the room is spacious enough but basic, the garden view is a clump of trees and it’s on the third floor without a lift, the aircon leaks on the large but barren balcony, the outside table is on a slant, the shower’s borderline dangerous, but at least the internet and fridge work. There’s a huge supermarket around the corner.

The sun and dust have turned my hair hedgehog - I look like Joe Brown. I wait until it cools to an ambient 29c and venture on an aimless and mapless stroll. There are some magnificent huge outer walls to either side and I go into the garden within. Half a k later there’s a ton of kids and some adults performing some Ancient Greek sing-song. A couple of Dutch women ask me, in some desperation: ‘Do you know the way out? We’ve been walking around the moat for two hours.’ So I retrace my steps with them, realising there are only so many gates into the Old Town. I’m wandering through these beautiful quiet deserted narrow medieval alleys but feeling hungry, and suddenly there’s light.

An extraordinary bright packed street, full of rooftop restaurants, bars and shops. The street goes on and on through mosques, synagogues, churches and fortresses and it’s wonderful, except I have an aversion to being ripped off as prices are extortionate so will not stop. It keeps going and going - I’ve forgotten that Rhodes is a relatively big town with a population of over 50,000 - and then I’m outside of the walls, thinking there will be modern reasonably-priced eateries where the Rhodians go.

But there aren’t and it’s about 4km back and I’m guessing dinner will be the packet of oregano crisps I bought earlier. Luckily, a place around the corner from my lodgings I clocked earlier is still open and it’s amazing food - second best Greek restaurant ever after that place in Chios I told you about, if you’ve bothered to read the post. The secret ingredient in the pitaroudia (chick pea fritters) is ouzo, so the chef-patron tells me. Portion size is massive, so there’s a pile of them for breakfast tomorrow.

Rhodes is wowzah.

Rhodes, 13th June 2024

I see the things you’re meant to see in Rhodes Town. The Street of the Knights is impressive, as is the 15th century Grand Master’s Palace. At first you wonder why you’ve paid to look at a courtyard with a café and toilet, then you realise there’s a staircase to the rest of the palace. Actually, it’s a bit of a hoax. It blew up in 1856 and was rebuilt by the Italians during the early 20th century when they ruled the Dodecanese. Mussolini used to come here on holiday. You might recognise it as Kingslanding or Dorne or Quarth or somewhere else from Game of Thrones.

The archaeological museum is arguably even better and not because of the stuff in it, most of which are basic undecorated pots. It’s housed in a medieval palace with dozens of little rooms forming a maze over two floors. Random columns litter the attractive gardens and, get this Türkiye, a joint ticket for the museum and palace costs just ten euros. About the price of a beer on the Odos Sokratous.

But the nicest thing to do in Rhodes is just to wander aimlessly in the medieval alleys close to the inner walls of Old Town. Here it’s quiet and you find lovely uncrowded bars and restaurants that are not hassly and rip-off.

It's too hot though and a few hours is all you can bear before returning to the sanity of the air-conditioned hotel room. I'm getting a bit boring with my food lately as it's not much fun eating out alone, so I go back to the same restaurant as yesterday. Just as good, if not better.