East Asia 2023: Part Five. Bangkok, Thailand
14/10/23 Siem Reap - Bangkok
The Air Asia flight is so intimate that I may have inadvertently scratched someone else’s leg. No problems with the cab meeting us at the airport, although it's immediately obvious that drivers are not as friendly here as they were in Vietnam, Malaysia and Cambodia. First impressions of Bangkok? Well, it's cloudy and a bit miserable with lots of tall buildings. In fact, it looks a bit like London.
We get to area we're staying in, which is Bang Rak, Silom or Sathorn, depending on your point of view, and we eventually work out the key card. The Airbnb is very nice, if a little motel-like and some of the passing motorbikes sound like planes taking off.
Sit around on the balcony for an hour or so before bravely venturing to the 7/11 on the corner to buy beer and peanuts with dried anchovies and chillies which are, disappointingly, not a Cambodian snack after all.
We go for a wander. The roads are scary busy and, unlike in Hanoi, the cars and mopeds are going too fast to just wander into them. You wait forever at the pedestrian crossings, but most of the traffic does actually stop. In circumstances such as this it's best to follow a local because he'll get hit first.
We pass numerous massage parlours, but they're fine because they're full of middle-aged women in cosmetic masks. The area is, how should I put this? Somewhat grimy. Claire has already imparted that Bangkok is the crime capital of South East Asia which only fuels my paranoia. The lesser-feted Bang Rak night market is about to close and doesn't look like it was worth visiting anyway. Claire wants to go to a shop called the Bored Ape, which sells I don't know what. The door is locked but we're beckoned in by a cheerful young lady. It's because there was a robbery outside last night, she helpfully explains.
We wander down another street where there appears to be a food market full of little shacks, but it's not the right time to be adventurous. Instead, we go to a restaurant with an English menu which is actually a hostel. The dishes are familiar - pad thai, papaya salad, belly pork with greens - but the food is fantastically tasty, very chilli-hot and extremely cheap.
Back at the Airbnb I realise I have absolutely no idea why I'm in Bangkok other than it being the place we're flying home from. I ask for suggestions on Facebook. We’re not loving Bangkok so far but, unusually for a first night, we’re not hating it.
15/10/23 Bangkok
Thanks to everyone who gave us suggestions on where to go in Bangkok, by which I mean James. We’d decided to go to a couple of them before I read his post, saw Wat Arun from the river and, as lovely as Ayutthaya looks, we’re exhausted by far away temple complexes. Don’t think Koran Road is for us, but thanks James, I appreciate it.
Get to Sathorn Quay quickly thanks to some brave road crossing decisions not recommended by Google Maps. It's hot as hell and, of all the cities I've been to in my life, Bangkok smells the worst. There's no air-conditioning or fans at the quay but only a ten minute wait, and the 70p cruise is lovely, especially the breeze. At Tha Chang Quay there are no signs to the entrance of the Grand Palace and we end up going through a pointless short air-conditioned underpass four times.
When we eventually find the entrance, they won’t let me in with shorts although I noticed the little kids get away with it. Luckily, an old woman is renting pyjama bottoms for a pound. I like them so much I pay an extra two quid to buy. Imagine my embarrassment when, entering the complex, hundreds of others are wearing the same design! The moment I sit down they split at the crotch.
We go to the textile museum first which contains the Queen Mother’s old dresses that no longer fit her. I have to admire the exquisite beauty of the air-conditioning.
The Grand Palace is indeed remarkable in a blingtastic way. It’s not that old, could have been designed by Jeff Koons, and was less Kremlin and more Disneyland. Can’t fault the craftsmanship and, as you’d expect, it’s in very good nick.
Ripped pantaloons and all, we negotiate a fare to Chatuchak Market, the biggest weekend street market in the world with over 15,000 stalls. It’s great. You could get lost in there, which I do somewhere between sections 26 and 8. Claire was browsing a very dull clothes shop for ages and I just had to find somewhere more interesting.
I buy loads of hopefully wonderful stuff, mainly t-shirts and weird food, at very cheap prices.
Coming back in a haggled-for cab, we both agree that Bangkok looks remarkably like West London in particular although, as everyone knows, West London is horrible.
The balcony in our Airbnb is a lovely place to view the bats/swallows (not sure which) in the trees in the 95% night humidity. The Singhas barely touch the lips. I want to watch the rugby in a perfectly innocent Sports Bar (according to reviews), but Claire won't go in because a woman with no knickers is texting outside. Can’t say I notice and I’m sure it’s just a coincidence, but it doesn't matter anyway as they’ve never heard of rugby. Have a dhosa instead in a huge Southern-Indian emporium and watch the first half of the game on YouTube with a big blue box hiding the action.
16/10/23 Bangkok
Today we are shopping.
After the most beautiful cappuccino we’ve ever had in our lives and a very good eggs benedict/royale, we head up the river to Rajinee. The Tri Phet Flower Market is setting up and the traders bring in huge quantities of ginger, daikon, lemongrass, bok choi and many unidentifiable vegetables. We walk the back streets to Phahurat Market. It’s mainly Indian market and there are very few tourists. More fabric shops than you can shake a stick at, but they don’t have what Claire’s looking for. Not so humid today as the clouds shat themselves in the early hours. It feels like London in a heatwave.
Google Maps then goes into meltdown and we get lost and shouted at by an armed security guard for trespassing something. We accidentally stumble upon China World, four huge floors full of fabric rolls, but they’re all too ordinary. Same story at Indian Emporium and the Old Siam Mall. Kilometres and kilometres of fabric. Then Claire decides she wants to go back to the first street in Phaharut where we’d started. Finally, she buys something.
Okay, I may be exaggerating. She bought in Old Siam Mall too.
After four hours of fabric shopping, it’s my turn. We stop for a cigarette and water beside a pleasant waterway that looks like Regent's Canal, although that might be because they have similar shopping trolleys here. We enter a small alley at the western end of Sampheng Market, less than two meters wide, dodging the mopeds, boiling oil street food and delivery guys. It’s fascinating – they have shops that sell everything here - but there’s nothing we want to buy and it goes on and on for about 2km until I can take no more.
Into Chinatown at a supposed quiet time of day, crossing the road to Spice Alley is hell. After 20 minutes we finally find a spice shop and realise I don’t really need anything, having already dedicated eight racks and two cupboards to my collection. So, I buy the weirdest stuff I can find like pickled cabbage powder, pandan powder and roasted rice.
On the way back we stumble upon an eclectic funky cake shop called Pink Rabbit & Bob which is playing Django Django, LCD Soundsystem and King Krule. We happily have a couple of beers as the rain come down, which they fleece us for, but that’s fine as we have baht to use up. The woman behind Claire in the picture below is folding thousands of paper napkins for some reason.
The boat back is less relaxing as it’s rush-hour and, boy, Bangkok rush-hour is something to behold. Not as bad as Hanoi though. End up buying a wok in a department store called Robinson which is made in China, probably costs less in the UK and may not fit in my suitcase. Restaurant for dinner is very close as I don't want to cross any more big roads.
17/10/23 Bangkok to London
So, this is my last post for the trip as I’ve noticed my Facebook likes are dropping off. Also, I’m home now.
The Thai Airlines (TA) flight from Bangkok to Heathrow must have only been 5% full. This was strange as TA also had another flight to Heathrow at exactly the same time and could have combined them. An overflow flight? I don't think so as I booked months ago. Many confused people spend their two hours before departure flitting between C6 and D7, which are the farthest apart gates in the 2km long Suvarnabhumi Airport. Use up my spare baht on a kimchi chicken burger.
No idea what time zone the airline thinks they’re in. The meal is served one hour after the 12:50 departure. Chicken pieces (I think, could have been fish, tofu, or perhaps all three) for starter and a green chicken curry for main. Then lights out – sleepy time. Five hours later we get another meal. Chicken and pasta to start, followed by a red chicken curry. Second lights out – sleepy time again. They give us chicken sandwiches in case we get hungry.
Discipline is voluntary on empty flights so I stretch out on a row of three seats to try and get some sleep. A perfect bed if you’re less than five foot tall and can sleep on planes. Instead, I watch several films, including Kong: Skull Island, because we went to where they filmed it in Vietnam, which is probably the worst film I’ve ever seen. Tom Hiddlestone, what were you thinking?!
Thirteen hours later, as they have to take a detour to avoid Israel (although we did fly through Iran), we arrive in London. The longest walk of any airport so far to baggage claim, completely deserted. Into the cold of a car park to figure out where the hell the Free Now cab is supposed to pick us up. Despite the posters of Tim Peake and Beefeaters with open arms, London airports really are the least welcoming.
Arriving home at 10:30pm (4:30am Bangkok time) Alex offers to cook chicken burgers. I put my jumper and furry slipper boots on and feel the first sniffle of a cold.
I miss the heat.
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